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Is Perfectionism Killing Your Relationships?

Written by Melissa D. Cope on Wednesday, 21 September 2016. Posted in Perfectionism, Business Coaching, Business Leadership, Main Blogroll Page, How to Change Your Life


In the past we have talked about the three different types of Perfectionism.  Today I want to focus on other-oriented perfectionism. And this is my question to you - Is your Perfectionism not only making your life hell, but also dragging other people down into the fire with you? 

Answer these questions to find out –


Are You An Other-Oriented Perfectionist?

Listen here or scroll down to read more below.


Answer these questions to find out –


  • Do other people often disappoint you?
  • Are most people’s standards too low?
  • Do you usually have to do it yourself, because no one else will do it right?
  • Do you often find yourself criticizing or judging others?
  • Is your way always the Right way?

If you said yes to any of the questions I listed, then your Perfectionism is likely affecting everyone around you and negatively impacting your career and your personal life.

Here are 3 ways to build better relationships with all the different people in your life:

  1. Shift your Mindset - Understand that everyone has different values and beliefs and they may not be the same as yours.  This means that what is important to you (ie. being on time, cleanliness etc.) may not be important to someone else.  Acknowledge and believe that they are entitled to their own opinion and can live their life how they choose.
  2. Seek to Understand - If you are unhappy with a person or situation, approach the conversation with curiosity to learn more about how the other person perceives it, why they did or said what they did or said and then express what you would like to happen in future.
  3. Take Responsibility - Know you always have a choice.  You can choose to keep the status quo and say or do nothing.  You can speak up and seek a resolution.  Or you can leave the situation which in the extreme could mean quitting a job, getting a divorce or finding a new place to live.  Either way, you are making a choice – even doing nothing is a choice.

Start using these three techniques and you will be amazed at how much your relationships improve, and how much more joy you get from spending time with the people in your life.

To access more information on Perfectionism, Click Here.




About the Author

Melissa D. Cope

Melissa D. Cope

Melissa holds a B.A. in Psychology from Mt. Holyoke College, graduated from the Connecticut Center for Massage Therapy, and trained at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). She currently lives in Asheville, NC.

Business Coaching is an expression of Melissa's passion to share the pitfalls and strategies she learned while starting up two small businesses. Her ultimate goal is to help you conquer fear, worry and overwhelm so that you can have more clarity, flow and income in your business.

As your Business Coach, Melissa puts to work her extensive training with iPEC - one of the premiere coach training institutions in the U.S. Focused on solopreneurs and small business coaching, she teaches you how to tap into your unique strengths and gifts so that at the end of the day you feel more energized and fulfilled!



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